A new start . . .

As the blog’s title may suggest, I’m Morgan. I am in my very last semester of my undergraduate studies, and on the final stretch before becoming a high school English teacher.

That sounds incredibly “adult.” And very weird. In many ways, I still feel like a teenager - I still identify with that “teenage” part of my brain. I had a discussion with my mom a few weeks ago, and confessed feeling the same way. “I always have,” she explained. “The mental image I have of myself is when I was 18.” Later on, she described feeling, for many years, “like I was fooling everyone, and I was thinking, they can’t possibly think I’m capable of this, I’m still a kid!”

Being entrusted with the curriculum and welfare of many, many students is a weighty responsibility. Throughout my previous semester of student teaching, I had many moments, laced with fear and awe, where I realized the potential impact of what I was doing. Those moments were usually followed by periods where I really didn’t think I could do it. How could I get up in front of so many people and teach them, and expect them to listen? To believe me? To trust me? It didn’t, and still doesn’t, make sense. I identify more with them than I do with the teachers. I feel like a three-year-old trying to file taxes.

And so this is where I am. Stuck somewhere in the middle of a cognitive shift.

In the mean time, I am student teaching and getting a feel for my teacher legs. Which are, incidentally, my adult legs.

- Morgan